


Migraine

by aishiterumo



Series: My personal Hematite [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Death Wish, Gen, Hallucinations, Light Angst, Near Death, Temporary Character Death, felix and changbin are dating but it’s not important
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:41:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25981519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aishiterumo/pseuds/aishiterumo
Summary: Changbin is lost in a strange place, trying to understand what’s happening to him, when he’s suddenly brought back to where he belongs.
Series: My personal Hematite [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1839322
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Migraine

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I wrote this without really thinking, it might not make much sense, I still hope it’ll be enjoyable.
> 
> A/N: this work is part of a series 'My personal Hematite' which contains therapeutic works i wrote during some of my dark moments (panic attacks, depression episode, dissociation episode etc). i wrote these to help myself, they may not make any sense and are not related in any way. read with care, and be mindful of your comments. Thank you.

Everything was too much. It was like walking on top of fragile eggshells, trying not to break them but every move made them crack a little bit more. His head was throbbing violently, his ears were ringing so loudly it was deafening, he could be bleeding he wouldn’t even be surprised. Slowly, carefully, trying not to break the imaginary eggs underneath him, he took a step forward. He looked up at the sky, his eyes squinting just enough to hide the sunlight and allow him to see the few birds flying over his head. Wait… Was he their prey? He stopped walking, staring at the animals with interests. They kept flying in circles, right above his head. He was their prey! Squinting his eyes a tiny bit more, he discerned the vultures above his head. His breath hitched in his throat as he started walking again, at a quicker pace, not caring about the eggs anymore.

Changbin walked along the path, wondering when it even had started. Troubled, he stopped walking, turning over to look at all he had traveled. The path had started from nowhere, right in the middle of a sandy land–was it a desert? Confused, he turned back to his original position, discovering the large and humid forest in front of him. He looked up again, the vultures were still over his head. He felt a shudder run along his spine, the sun finally setting and allowing him to look at the sky without hurting his eyes. When he heard the big birds cry above him, he quickened his pace again and entered the forest. The trees engulfed him, the humidity stuck at his skin like needles. His breathing raced for a moment until everything felt calm again. He felt a soft wind pass through his hair. His head started to sting but he ignored it, walking along the same path that had appeared from nowhere, looking for a place to sit.

Maybe someone heard his thought, or maybe it was just pure luck, but as soon as he wished for a place to sit, he found a bench under a large tree. He hurried over to it, letting his body fall on top of it. A loud sigh escaped his mouth as soon as his butt touched the wooden bench. Changbin buried his head in his hands, breathing loudly. His head kept on throbbing and throbbing again; his brain was about to pop out of his skull at this point. “What in goddamn hell is happening?” he whisper-yelled, face still in his hands. Changbin waited a few seconds, wondering how he could’ve ended up here. All he could remember was chasing after his boyfriend, playing tag. He could still hear his boyfriend’s giggles, him calling his name. “Felix!” He remembered himself yelling, “Felix!” Then, everything came to a blur. His boyfriend’s voice got heard in the distance, was he calling his name? Trying to focus on his voice, his head kept on throbbing more and more, he whimpered in pain.

The wind blew harder, piercing his skin like needles. His skin felt incredibly hot, his entire body was hot, to the point he stopped trying to remember what had happened to look at his legs, more specifically at his crotch, an intense wave of heat in this area making him believe he had just pissed himself. Seeing his jeans still as dry as before, he sighed in relief. Once the heat left his body, he only had the coldness of the wind. Not to help the shivers invading him, rain started to pour. “I need to get out of here,” he said to himself, getting up from the bench. Walking was suddenly harder. Barely standing up, his legs gave up and he fell on his knees. He used the bench as support, putting all his weight on it. The bench faded into thin air, his arm crashing on the floor in a loud thud. He groaned, getting up on his own, trying to ignore how his head was about to explode, or implode, he didn’t even know at this point. It just felt like his head was another part of his body; like an alien part of himself, something not supposed to be there, similar to a third arm or something. Except that it was his head. His head was definitely supposed to be there. Was it?

He hadn’t walked for long, but as soon as he wondered how far he had wandered, the forest ended and led him to a smaller path, between a sandy beach with the ocean on his left and a pebble beach with what seemed to be a river on his right. The path ended, he now was facing two signs. One was showing the sandy beach, the other the pebble beach. He had to choose. Changbin pondered the thought; he always loved feeling the sand in-between his toes, warmth all over his body, looking at the waves coming from the ocean. Still, nothing compared to the beautiful pebbles, all their unique shapes and the coldness of a river, the charm it had, with all its colors and fishes. The boy closed his eyes, his finger up in the air as he pointed once at his right and once at his left, repeating the same move after each word leaving his mouth: “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers, let him go. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.” He opened his eyes as he said the last word, staring at his finger who pointed towards the pebble beach. He smiled widely, taking his shoes off as well as his socks, setting foot on top of the very first pebble. It was slippery, his entire body was dragged forward. He didn’t even need to walk, it felt like the pebbles were dragging him all the way to the river. He closed his eyes again, spreading his arms sideways, letting the wind pass through his body and waiting for the pebble to stop being that slippery.

He waited to feel the cold river underneath his bare feet, it never came. He opened his eyes, looking down. The river was there. Beneath him. Right there. Yet, he was going up. And up. And up and up again. Panic grew wild inside of him, looking sideways he saw the pebble beach, the path, the sandy beach, the wider path, the forest, the desert and the vultures. Those same vultures suddenly flew high too, ploughing straight towards him, beak opening to attack, wings widely spread. Changbin fought with the air, moving his legs in every direction, making circles with his arms, trying to change his direction. Tears spilling from his eyes as he yelled, louder and louder yet nothing came out of his wide-opened mouth. He looked up, in a last attempt of hope. He saw the light, bright, blinding, resplendent, calming. His legs stopped moving, his arms slowly did the same. He could still feel his head about to implode. The light was getting closer, closer and closer, until there was none.

His whole body fell at full speed. His tears got pulled upwards, he could see every single drop of it flying in front of his face. Arms up in front of him, the impact of his body in the river made a loud noise. A muffled noise he couldn’t even hear as he felt dragged deeper and deeper, deeper than the river even was.

“Changbin!” The voice was familiar. “Oh my god, Changbin, my love! You’re finally awake!” He opened his eyes slowly, blinking at least twice to adjust to the bright light in front of him. Felix’s face was hovering right above his own, eyes all sparkly probably from crying, nose a bit red and lips all bitten. Changbin couldn’t speak, despite all his tries, only choked sounds came out of his throat. As if he understood, Felix took his hand in his, one beneath it against his palm, the other caressing its back softly. “Don’t talk, my love. Everything’s fine now, everything’s over.” He leaned in a bit more, kissing his forehead as gently as he could. Changbin felt a teardrop falling on his forehead, almost on his hair. He closed his eyes, squeezing his boyfriend’s hand in his a bit. Everything is fine, now. 

**Author's Note:**

> I think I simply highly described what my migraines feels like to me; when they get so unbearable that I tend to pass out and disassociate, just wishing it’d stop but it never does.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reads, leave kudos and or comments, you really brighten my days!
> 
> find more work on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/softflowermin) :]  
> you can also ask question related to my works on my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/softflowermin)!


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